Full Name: The Jolly Green Giant

Nickname(s): Leafy McLongstalk, Stretch

Screen Name: LickMyBeans

Claim to Fame: Having my face on cans of vegetables

Current Residence: Burma

Pets? Sprout (technically a son)

What are you reading now? “Advertising Strategies in Today’s Society” by Noodles McGee

Favorite fast food place/restaurant? Veggie Heaven

What’s your favorite game? Spud

Favorite song? My own jingle

Favorite sexual position? Toss-the-Salad, Climb the Beanstalk

Favorite drink (non-alcoholic)? V8

Favorite drink (alcoholic)? Grain alcohol (my tolerance is high – look at my size)

Favorite smell? Peas

If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Ebullient Green

What’s under your bed? Nothing but countless miles of terra firma, and probably some critters that I didn’t see before I laid down

What’s the first thing you think of in the morning? “Why?  WHY did she leave me and Sprout?”

Where is the best place you have ever been? A canning factory in Wisconsin

Worst place? France

Pet peeves? Pesticides, when the advertising industry never gets my entire body in the frame, carnivores

What would you say is your best characteristic? I’m biodegradable

Worst characteristic? I started all those rumors about me and Mother Nature

If you could meet someone, dead or alive, who would it be? The hot chick from Shrek

Do you believe in UFOs? No – I’ve identified them all

What did you do on your last birthday? Challenged a redwood tree to a height contest

If you could have any job, what would it be? Professional basketball player

What is the most important thing in life? Eat your vegetables and(/to) support my family

What is your greatest fear? Sprout turning out to be a dipshit

Have you ever been in love? Why must you insist on dredging up the painful details of my tumultuous past?  (begins weeping)

What is your motto? “Ho ho ho” – The copyright infringement lawsuit against Santa Claus is still in the litigation stage

What would you like to be remembered for? My grass-roots fashion sense



Other Surveys:

A Sperm    Betsy Ross    Bryan Fenkart    Cleopatra    Dr. Seuss    Edmund Dudley    e.e. cummings    Fats    Gandhi    God Gordon    Henry VIII   Iago from Othello    Jaws    Jessica Simpson    Jose Canseco    Madonna    Mario    Mike Tyson    Mr. Potato Head    Pele    The Phillie Phanatic    Pluto    Ponce De Leon    Superman    Tiger Woods    The Tooth Fairy