Full Name: Fatsaniel

Nickname(s): Fats

Screen Name: ImHereToHelp

Claim to Fame: Well-respected advice columnist on www.esoderek.com

Current Residence: Fatsylvania

Pets? A chimera

What are you reading now? Certainly not any requests for bad advice.  What's wrong with you people?  Submit something!

Favorite fast food place/restaurant? The Oracle, Sushi and Mexican Bazaar

What’s your favorite game? Magic 8 Ball

Favorite song? "Help" by the Beatles.  Lyrics can be found here

Favorite sexual position? The Inquisitive Suggestion

Favorite drink (non-alcoholic)? Mountain Dew

Favorite drink (alcoholic)? A Double Query - recipe available here

Favorite smell? Seriously, is it that difficult?

If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Mauve

What’s under your bed? Abby... dear dear Abby

What’s the first thing you think of in the morning? "No questions again???"

Where is the best place you have ever been? Aisle 7 of Weinberg's Wondermarket

Worst place? France

Pet peeves? self-proclaimed know-it-alls, gunpowder

What would you say is your best characteristic? my indefatigable ability to answer any and all questions, my use of indefatigable

Worst characteristic? my loyal readers - it's just sad, guys

If you could meet someone, dead or alive, who would it be? Soupy Sales

Do you believe in UFOs? Nobody's ever asked about advice about them, that much is for sure

What did you do on your last birthday? Changed somebody's life
 
If you could have any job, what would it be? Hell, I'd be happy just to be doing my job again

What is the most important thing in life? orgasms

What is your greatest fear? the inundation I should receive

Have you ever been in love? To answer a question from a song, I wrote the book of love

What is your motto? "TAKE A HINT!"

What would you like to be remembered for? My timeless and impeccable advice.  What?  There's nothing to click on here.