Full Name: God Gordon

Nickname(s):
The Almighty, He, Chunk

Screen Name:
FastestDSLEver

Claim to Fame:
Creating the Heavens and the Earth

Current Residence:
Northeast Heaven

Pets?
Sheep (billions)

What are you reading now?
Owners manual for my TiVo

Favorite fast food place/restaurant?
Cruci-Fixins

What’s your favorite game? Monopoly (Christianity Version) – I can usually win if I get Sodom and Gomorrah and at least three of the four Miracle Stations.

Favorite song? “Smack My Bitch Up” by Prodigy

Favorite sexual position?
Missionary

Favorite drink (non-alcoholic)?
Holy water

Favorite drink (alcoholic)?
Beer

Favorite smell?
Prayer-smell

If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Unquestioning Faith White

What’s under your bed? Non-believers

What’s the first thing you think of in the morning? “Did I leave the gates open yesterday?”

Where is the best place you have ever been? Rochester, NY

Worst place? France

Pet peeves? Disloyalty, people saying my name in vain (especially Gordon), Satan

What would you say is your best characteristic? My voice

Worst characteristic? I do smite pretty often

If you could meet someone, dead or alive, who would it be? I’m omnipresent.  Sometimes, I’d like to not be meeting someone.

Do you believe in UFOs? Like I’m going to give that away

What did you do on your last birthday? Eighteen tequila shots

If you could have any job, what would it be? Mime

What is the most important thing in life? Thou shalt have no other gods before me

What is your greatest fear? Dust mites

Have you ever been in love? No, I’m not supposed to worship anyone but myself

What is your motto? “I am good”

What would you like to be remembered for? Creating the Milwaukee Brewers

 

 

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