Full Name: Theodor Seuss Geisel

Dr. Seuss, Madame Broombottom

Screen Name:

Claim to Fame:
Rhyme’s my game

Current Residence: Whoville Home for the Criminally Insane

Pets? A cat, a rat, a goose, a moose, and an apteryx - all named Otis

What are you reading now? My own obituary

Favorite fast food place/restaurant? The Green Eggs and Hamburger Hut

What’s your favorite game? The Grinch Drinking Game (drink every time he does something dastardly, drink twice when he does a good deed, social for every grin and a shot for the word ‘wasty’)

Favorite song? “Straight Outta Compton” by NWA

Favorite sexual position?
The Nasty Sneech

Favorite drink (non-alcoholic)?
Wasty Peach

Favorite drink (alcoholic)? Straight bourbon, ain’t that disturbin’?

Favorite smell? Vagina

If you were a crayon, what color would you be? Multi-Faceted Writer Yellow

What’s under your bed? A tiny crate behind a gate – inside the crate is a titmouse in a shithouse with an orange on a crack binge – what’s it to you, cracker!?!? Get off my lawn!

What’s the first thing you think of in the morning? “I was a famous political cartoonist and accomplished author also, numnuts”

Where is the best place you have ever been? Amsterdam

Worst place?

Pet peeves?
Free verse, critics, rigormortis

What would you say is your best characteristic? My fertile imagination

Worst characteristic? My infertile everything else

If you could meet someone, dead or alive, who would it be? Shel Silverstein or Ling Ling the Panda

Do you believe in UFOs? No, I don’t believe in those

What did you do on your last birthday? Visited my psychiatrist – he says it’s genetic

If you could have any job, what would it be? Porn star

What is the most important thing in life? Respect for all one’s talents, not just children’s frickin’ poetry

What is your greatest fear? The afterlife

Have you ever been in love? Yes, it fit like a glove – I’m sorry, it really can’t helped

What is your motto? “Life’s a bitch”

What would you like to be remembered for? My contributions to novelty hat shops



Other Surveys:

A Sperm    Betsy Ross    Bryan Fenkart    Cleopatra    Edmund Dudley    e.e. cummings    Fats    Gandhi    God Gordon    Henry VIII   Iago from Othello    Jaws    Jessica Simpson    The Jolly Green Giant    Jose Canseco    Madonna    Mario    Mike Tyson    Mr. Potato Head    Pele    The Phillie Phanatic    Pluto    Ponce De Leon    Superman    Tiger Woods    The Tooth Fairy