Full Name: Cleopatra VII (Cleopatra Auletes)

Cleo, Miss Incest

Screen Name:

Claim to Fame: The basis for the characters on Cleopatra 2525

Current Residence: Entombed in a pyramid in Alexandria

Pets? Cats - Whiskers, Tangerine, Edward, Cleomenes, Bucky, Julius, Elivisa, Johnny Pants, Howardine, Xavier, Xavier Jr., Dane, Mittens, Sufficient, Quentin the Unstable, Ramses III, Galatea, the Betty Sisters (14, 11, 9), Mr. Cutcher, Circles, Irv, Li’l Antony, Alice, Hewey, Dewey, Manbucket, Cowardice, Shelly, Moot Point the Cat, Bill, Xerxes, Abdul, Marrakesh, Zounds, Pastor Lick, Arnold, Unit 3B305R, Chalice, Stipples, Ivory, The Bruiser, Slug, Caesarboy, Tse Bo, Cinnamon, Ed, Fatman, Bojangles, Soupy, Misfit, Snowball VII, Scott, Greenbelly, John Wayne, Whiskers, Trigger, Leslie, Stonewall, Pickler, Gorm, Bunch, Halitosis, Girl, Saliva, Charity, Wendella, The Tooth, Pogo, Pedro, Tiddlebury, Sheets, Hobbes, Flapjack, Condo Willie, Sheepshanks, Rogue and Tons o’ Tony

What are you reading now? The TV Guide

Favorite fast food place/restaurant? The Tomb of Asparagus

What’s your favorite game? Q-bert

Favorite song? “Walk Like an Egyptian” by the Bangles – odd considering I’m technically from Macedonian descent

Favorite sexual position? The Winged Figure Holding Stick – our sexual reference guide a lot of times is etched as graffiti on our walls

Favorite drink (non-alcoholic)? Oasis water

Favorite drink (alcoholic)? Vodka on the Rocks, Egyptian version (hot vodka + sand)

Favorite smell? Eunuchs

If you were a crayon, what color would you be?

What’s under your bed? Coliseum blueprints – I bet I can take a chunk out of the side of that sucker

What’s the first thing you think of in the morning? “Now what on Earth is THAT thing?”

Where is the best place you have ever been? The Parthenon (certainly not the Pantheon)

Worst place? France

Pet peeves?
Sisters, embalmers, Roman men

What would you say is your best characteristic? My brilliance and my devotion to my country. I am a quick-witted woman who is fluent in nine languages (unfortunately Latin is not one of them).  I am a mathematician and a very good businesswoman. I have a charismatic personality, was a born leader and an ambitious monarch who deserved better than suicide (as is indicated by the website http://www.touregypt.net/cleopatr.htm.)

Worst characteristic? I married two of my brothers, but that was, like, totally politically motivated

If you could meet someone, dead or alive, who would it be? I think it would have to be …wait, hold on a sec, I commit suicide!?!?

Do you believe in UFOs? Yes, as is evident by many hieroglyphics that depict things that, if viewed by a staunch xenophile, could not entirely be ruled out as UFOs

What did you do on your last birthday? Played Jenga and watched The Ref

If you could have any job, what would it be? Lifeguard

What is the most important thing in life? Veterinarians

What is your greatest fear? That I won’t get to fulfill my lifelong dream of being a crotchety old single woman with too many cats

Have you ever been in love? I have ‘issues’ – currently I’m married to my son for political reasons

What is your motto? “If you can’t beat ‘em, cat ‘em”

What would you like to be remembered for? I was bit and killed by a venomous snake, thus guaranteeing me immortality anyway – but I guess I’d like to be known for my ability to fly



Other Surveys:

A Sperm    Betsy Ross    Bryan Fenkart    Dr. Seuss    Edmund Dudley    e.e. cummings    Fats    Gandhi    God Gordon    Henry VIII   Iago from Othello    Jaws    Jessica Simpson    The Jolly Green Giant    Jose Canseco    Madonna    Mario    Mike Tyson    Mr. Potato Head    Pele    The Phillie Phanatic    Pluto    Ponce De Leon    Superman    Tiger Woods    The Tooth Fairy