Full Name: Elizabeth "Betsy" Claypoole nee Ashburn nee Ross nee Griscom
 
Nickname(s): Needles, The Easy Lay
 
Screen Name: OldAndDead
Claim to Fame: wearing frilly hats, being named "Betsy"
Current Residence: in one of several cemeteries - I've been in more holes than Brett Michaels
 
Pets? a sock monkey named Chester
 
What are you reading now? Hustler

Favorite fast food place/restaurant? the Colonial Diner on Rt. 46
 
What’s your favorite game? Spin the Bottle

Favorite song? “The Star Spangled Banner" by Francis Scott Key
Favorite sexual position? amber waves of pain

Favorite drink (non-alcoholic)?
murky brown water

Favorite drink (alcoholic)?
a hot toddy
Favorite smell? the pungent smell of combat, Glade's Mountain Mist

If you were a crayon, what color would you be?
red, white and blue... so probably a light purplish color

What’s under your bed?
my cardboard cut-out of George Washington, my prototype flag which was six red strips, a eleven green stars, and a small picture of some forks

What’s the first thing you think of in the morning?
"History believes I sewed the nation's first flag mainly because I, in my family's oral affidavits, basically said I did.  I should have also had them tell people I was a 38DD and was a kick-ass lacrosse goalie."

Where is the best place you have ever been?
Mt. Moriah Cemetery (my second burial place)
 
Worst place? France

Pet peeves?
the chain stitch, the lock stitch, people who crochet, the Revolutionary War's tendency to kill my husbands

What would you say is your best characteristic? my creativity, I'm good with my hands, I collect shrapnel

Worst characteristic?
I have TEOSS, or Typical Eighth of Seventeen Syndrome - it's like the middle child syndrome but with worse side-effects, including being dead; I can't sew buttons back onto trousers

If you could meet someone, dead or alive, who would it be?
Erik Estrada
 
Do you believe in UFOs? absolutely not

What did you do on your last birthday?
sewed the flag for Andorra - it's one stripe and a fifth of a star
 
If you could have any job, what would it be? Washington's personal love slave

What is the most important thing in life?
making sure your legacy lives on, and everyone knows what you did or ostensibly could have done

What is your greatest fear?
yarn, oddly enough

Have you ever been in love?
in a Henry VIII kind of way

What is your motto?
'betcha bite a chip'  I don't know what it means, but it sounds neat

What would you like to be remembered for?
that I was Washington's personal tailor, Adams' personal haberdasher, and Franklin's personal sock-puppeteer
 
 
 

 

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