Top 12 Laws that President Trump Will Enact First
12. Trump appoints Danza to take over for Schwarzenegger on The Apprentice, claiming Arnold "wasn't manly enough".
11. All Taco Bells will now be known as Liberty Bells. They’ll still be allowed to serve fake Mexican food though, because it’s delicious.
10. Bankruptcies will no longer negatively affect credit score, but they will positively affect sexiness.
9. The term “Trumping” will be coined in Webster’s Dictionary. Definition: to make anything into the most fantastic, glorious, wonderful, best thing ever.
8. Natural hair will become illegal. As will having any sort of Hispanic heritage.
7. October 30th will be Bang Your Daughter at Work day.
6. The penny will be taken out of circulation, replaced by the sound of muffled laughter.
5. All bald eagles will be required to use Rogaine.
4. Trumpcare. It's just the ACA with TRUMP written on the side of the bill in ostentatious letters.
3. Muslims: banned. Mormons: sorta banned because it’s sorta spelled like Muslims.
2. Having your period will become illegal. When it is pointed out to him that periods are responsible for the population of the world, he writes an addendum allowing them "only for hot chicks who don't have blood".
1. Bros before Hoes. Unless “bro” refers to a person of non-white origin.