Throughout the years, I’ve seen hundreds of those online surveys where you ‘get to know things about your friends’ in a very obnoxious, large-scale fashion. I thought the idea was great, but who cares about reading about the common layperson? We want to know the intimate details about famous historical figures, pop culture icons, and even fictional characters. That’s where the true dirt is.

Well, be kept in the dark no longer. I’ve been able to amass quite a large collection of these online surveys by famous people throughout the ages. Here are some of the rather stunning results.

Pelé (NEW!!!)
Betsy Ross
Bryan Fenkart
Madonna
Fats
Pluto
Edmund Dudley
Jose Canseco
Mario
Juan Ponce de Leon
God Gordon
A Sperm
Dr. Seuss
Cleopatra
e.e. cummings
Mike Tyson
Jaws
Tiger Woods
Henry VIII
The Tooth Fairy
Gandhi
Jessica Simpson
The Jolly Green Giant
Iago from "Othello"
Mr. Potato Head