September 21, 2018

Get rabies. Froth at the mouth as much as you can. Use the Velcro to support areas where your rapidly desiccating muscles are becoming unreliable. Deal with the occasional delirium and eventual brain death. There. Now your pup doesn’t feel so bad about having to wear a neck collar for her stitches. You’re a good dad. A dead dad, but a good one.

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