Are you needlessly filled with constant dread and feelings of inadequacy? Do you have a strong sense of paranoia and find it difficult to leave your bed in the morning for fear of what the day will bring? That’s because the end times are here! Velcro your poodle into a cute circle and wear him or her on your head as a hat. Feel comforted? Now lay back in bed and wait for the Nothingness to consume you.