March 30, 2018

Unless you happen to be living in the pre-Eli Whitney era, you already missed the chance to invent the best thing. However, you’re still able to invent gin cotton, a highly alcoholic fabric. If you’re stuck as to how to go about inventing this, the first three ingredients are a white poodle, Velcro, and a tiny, portable distillery. I get a 10% finder’s fee, payable in either cash or gin cotton sweaters.

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