Once upon a time, King Poodle, ruler of the north, received a divorce decree from Queen Poodle, Velcroed to the portcullis of his stately manse. With it was a writ of alimony called for by the Serjeant-at-law Rex Von Dachshund. In his rage, the King stormed into the Queen’s quarters, absconding with her two crowns, the one for Festivus and the one bequeathed to her at her commemoration. He cast them into the Fires of Canus, scheming to apply their molten residue as the seal for a missive he would use to tell her to politely bugger off. The Queen, ever erudite, had already replaced her golden crowns with fire-retardant replicas, rendering them impervious to the incendiary plot. Thus it was spake by all generations that followed: Yankee Poodle bent two crowns fighting alimony.