December 19, 2018

We assume you’re standing before the pearly gates and Peter is judging where you belong. He’ll probably bring up the myriad poodles you’ve needlessly killed, disfigured, or psychologically tortured. Wipe the sweat from your brow with the Velcro. Religious types like self-flagellation. Outside of that, you’re on your own. This isn’t 365 Ways to Get Out of Going to Hell.

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