4:39pm – So M&M and I head off to do some shoppin’ at the local consignment shops and to finally get some disc golf in. We first hit a consignment shop where I purchased a Sportscenter book, I forget the title. It was $1. I love Florida used prices. Then we hit another shop where I managed to purchase a COMPLETE 3-piece suit for $13.77 (tax included). That’s right, it was an amazing deal. If I don’t woo the ladies now, then really, not much has changed.
And that’s where our good fortune ended. We hit a gas station store to pick up some munchies before we played, and Mitch managed to buy cookies with moths flying INSIDE the packaging (he didn’t notice in the store). We get to the course, the wonderful North Fort Meyers Community Park, and believe me, I say “wonderful” in the most sarcastic tone imagineable. On the very first hole (marked 250′), I threw my DYEnamic Buzzz for the nice little anhyzer hole with a pond about 40′ past the basket. I ended up throwing the disc at about 60% so as not to go long. Well guess what? It not only went in the water, it went about 40′ into the water. Yes, that’s right – I threw 330′ with a midrange at 60%. OR: the course was mismarked. Big surprise, as the course was a miserable concoction to begin with. We forgot (or rather didn’t feel like expending the energy) to take pictures of this southern wildneress. It was impenatrable rough, hardly a fairway bigger than 5′. Mitch lost his favorite 2-year old Buzzz, his go-to disc. We saw snakes slithering across the teepad. It was not a fun experience. We quit after 6 holes (the first and only time I’ve quit a course because it just sucked so bad). I think Mitch said it best when he said: “This course gets more thumbs down than I have thumbs.”
If anyone who designed the N. Fort Meyers course reads this, I hate to say bad things and I try to apologize for negativity, but I want to punch you in the neck.
For the rest of the day, it looks like relaxing, eating reheated lasagna, and playing some low-key games.
And one last time:
11:39pm – For any family or others who would be weirded out by me talking about personal details of my life, please discontinue reading. For all you other sickos, welcome. I thought I knew pain. I thought I knew what it was like to be in pain. I have had a 10lb metal plate fall on my head. I’ve taken injections into my lower back. I’ve taken a frying pan to the forehead. I dated a Scorpio. But no. When I sprayed IvyDry (which is known to sting) onto ALL of my poison ivy, I felt as if my scrotum had been staple-gunned to the front end of an ocean liner. My God. Person number two I want to punch in the neck: God. Since I assume it was He who made poison ivy.
We finished playing Racetrack Canasta and my mother and I were victorious. Wow, this is what my rockin’ rebellious trip has been reduced to – playing old people games and gloating over my victories. I think that bodes poorly on my chances of cashing on this trip.
What has made me feel better tonight?
And now, the stats:
Miles: 43.9 / 1694.1
Money: -$23.49 / -$1032.22
Courses played: 1 / 8
Rounds played: 1 / 8