Accountability Update – Stupid, stupid May

So, how’s that accountability thing going? Let’s find out:


I think I’m like most people. When I make goals for myself, I set out earnestly to hit those goals. But once it becomes clear I am not going to hit them, not only do I stop trying, I basically take it in the opposite direction to see how spectacularly I can fail. I had 8 sodas, not 6. And while that may not seem like much, each sized soda was considerably larger than I normally get, so those 8 were more like 10 or 12. I also had two crappy Jack-in-the-Box lunches this month. Again, it’s only one more than my goal, but it’s also double my goal. I missed veggies again one day. I failed pretty hard in May. Especially when you compound my eating habits with:


…which I essentially did not do. I worked out a grand total of one time, and considering my goal was 8-10, I came up juuuuuuuuuust a bit short. I want to be able to place the blame elsewhere, but simply I got obsessed with War and Order, a handheld strategy game. Why work out when I can loot castles and kill soldiers, am I right? I hold out hope that June will be different, but it’s a flimsy sort of hope.


Here’s where things get funky. I started out my disc golf month at a one-day tournament at a new course (I’d only played once the week before at doubles). And I did what I’ve done all year, sucked. This tournament featured a) my third (3RD) sub-900 rated round this year and b) my SECOND DFL (dead f’n last) finish this year.

Apparently, the bursitis in my throwing shoulder is causing me more problems than I thought, especially when putting. So I did what any rational person would do, decided to play out the tournaments I’ve already signed up for then hang up the discs for the rest of the year to recover. I emailed my ex to change my schedule with the boys because of it. Then what happened?

Oh yeah, I started kicking ass. I won Duel at Dayton by four strokes, playing good golf the entire weekend. As a comparison, in the 9 tournament rounds before Dayton, I reached my player rating only once. Dayton featured 3 rounds in a row above my rating, something I tend not to do very much. Also, SPOILER ALERT, June started off pretty well too.


The boys are done with school, in more ways than one. We’re moving them from their current school back to the public school they are zoned for. There are many reasons for this move, but it’s definitely the right one. It’ll be a sharp change (and for L, his third school in four years). They have mixed feelings about it, but have spent the last few days getting phone numbers for the parents of many of their friends. So there will be play dates a’plenty.

My girlfriend has had some medical issues resulting in surprise surgery (which is, as you know, the worst kind), so it’s been a pretty rough, tiring month. She’s on the mend, at least until the next, bigger surgery (less surprise, but no less sucky). We will get a nice excursion next weekend when we attend the wedding of some longtime friends of hers.

May was a weird month financially, too. Twice each year I get three paychecks (I get paid bi-weekly, not semi-monthly), and May was one of those months. Plus I got my small tax rebate. Plus my second-biggest disc golf payday ever. So I’ve been able to pocket a little money to spend on a trip later this year with the boys.

Oh, and I we interviewed for and selected my third employee! She starts on July 1 and I’m SUPER excited a) because we desperately need a third person and b) because she’s awesome.

Onto June…

April Update

So, how’s that accountability thing going? Let’s find out:


You may remember in this blog post, I made a resolution to eat better because I was working out more. So how’d it go? I missed two days of veggies in May, one of which was because I was out playing disc golf for a good portion of the day and had plans at night. In general, I’m having more than one serving of veggies a day, but at least I’m basically hitting the lower bar each day. It helps to have a girlfriend who enjoys cooking (healthy!)


I worked out four times last month. If you’re good at math, or even just barely passable, you’ll realize that that’s not 2x a week. Unless April only had one week which, after thorough research, I concluded it didn’t. Of course it’s not a matter of time, it’s a matter of priorities. Let’s see if I can change that in May, during which I’ve already worked out (checks calendar) zero times.


I played two days of golf the entire month, both doubles. I played exceptionally mediocre in both of them, missing cash each time (in one I was playing with a total newbie so it was basically a solo round). So far for 2019, I’ve made $0 in disc in 2019. Too bad I haven’t spent $0.


The boys are doing great. They’ve taken up reading as a legitimate hobby, spending most of each car ride (to and from school) silently reading. For Landen it’s usually Calvin and Hobbes. Duncan switches between that and other books. School’s been going well for them too. I unfortunately won’t be able to take them on large vacations like I’d hoped (definitely rethinking the custody arrangement I agreed to based on things that have not transpired as discussed), but I’m making it work as best as I can.

Work is finally slowing down and I’m able to concentrate on process improvement and a backlog of old projects. This is actually exciting news, as these are the real things I intended to do in this position.

My body is rapidly falling apart – herniated disc in the back, bursitis in the right (throwing) shoulder, and arthritis in the left foot. Yeah yeah, I know, working out would help some of these.

Let’s see how May goes.

Updates – March

So, how’s that accountability thing going? Let’s find out


You may remember in this blog post, I made a resolution to eat better because I was working out more. So how’d it go? I’m not going to pretend the bar was set super high – it was only three goals – but I did very well. I had my full allotment of six sodas (I had the last one around the 20th of the month), I only had my two fast food jaunts (Jack in the Box for lunch once and a fatty bagel once for breakfast), and I ate veggies every day but one. Most days I had multiple veggies, so I feel good. That’s, like, a 98% success rate or something for month one.


Well, this isn’t going as well, but I didn’t set a clear goal. I think a reasonable goal would be two sessions a week. That’s vague on purpose – it can be going to the gym and using the elliptical and/or weights, or doing yoga or pilates or other core work at home. I haven’t done two sessions a week in a month or two, and I probably did a total of about 5 total sessions in March. No bueno.


Remember a few months ago when a doe-eyed man with a bag full of big dreams set up a bunch of goals for the year? I haven’t had the cajones to reread that blog, but suffice to say this has been a historically bad start to the year. I mean historically. Put it this way, since 2010, I have not had a sub-900-rated round. And the one I had then was because of a severe injury. You’d have to go back to 2009 to get a legit sub-900 round. This year? Yup, already had two.

I know it’s altitude. I know it I know it I know it. But I keep going back. Why do I keep going back? Let’s do some research. Since moving west at the end of 2007, I’ve played 262 tournament rounds. 175 of them were above 4000′ in elevation (almost exactly 2/3). Here are my findings:

Average round rating below 4000′: 950.56

# of 1000-rated rounds below 4000′: 5 (~5.7%)

# of sub-930 rounds below 4000′: 17 (~20%)

Average round rating above 4000′: 965.01

# of 1000-rated rounds above 4000′: 16 (~9.1%)

# of sub-930 rounds above 4000′: 13 (~7.4%)

I used to think it had to do with playing early in the year, but I now think that’s crap. The few rounds I played in Reno (above 4000′) after a two-month layoff and dealing with bursitis in my throwing shoulder were actually quite good (I took home the 1-tag in the opener!) Then I go down to sea level and throw my first 8 rounds well below my rating (only one round so far is unofficially rated above 950). Oh well, onward and upward. Literally, upward. I need higher elevation.


This one is murkier. The internet isn’t the forum for airing dirty laundry, so let’s say say specters from my past are making my life in the present very challenging. And they’re inevitably affecting my relationship with my boys and even the amount of time I get to spend with them. Personal choices obviously have a say in that as well (I played several tournaments in March, for instance), but there are extenuating circumstances.

The boys are doing well in general. I just had parent teacher conferences with both teachers and, while L’s reading scores have me more than a bit concerned, they’re both prospering in various areas. I can only imagine how hard it is to try to learn anything at school while dealing with two separate homes and lifestyles. Fortunately, my parents’ divorce happened when I was in college, and even THAT had its own challenges. It must be 1000x harder for kids.

However my girlfriend Danielle has been a nice pillar of support in all of this, as have a few friends I’ve opened up to. I had the chance to see Corey and Matt in their adorable place in Oakland. Got to perform with my improv troupe, The Comedy Collective (and will again this coming Friday!), and partook in some shenanigans. All in all, a mixed bag.


I anticipate doing this sort of review monthly. It’s good cheap therapy content.


Day -1: Odds and Ends

This is usually the part of the surgery blog when people take pictures of all the things they’ve bought to prepare for the recovery. I’m not going to do that. Do people really want to see six-packs of Ensure, burb cloths, and comfy chair and sweatshirt? Probably not. And if they do, that’s what Pinterest is for: pictures of strange objects in strange arrays.

  • By this time tomorrow, my surgery will be over, assuming no major complications. Six hours is the expectation, though it could realistically take somewhere between 5-7 hours. I have to get the hospital at 5:30 for a 7:30 surgery.
  • Blogmaster Dave (oh I WISH I had a copy of the “sweaty raver kid” picture of Dave) is looking into why the comments appear to be disabled. I would like to go on record as saying the comments were not working with me not having intervened at all! That being said, I did try to intervene yesterday, and I apologize in advance to Dave for having to clean up  my tech messes.
  • I’m less worried about the surgery and recovery itself and more worried about getting sick with a massive cold or stomach bug the day of/after my surgery. Given the fact that practically everyone I know has thrown up at least once in the last week, it’s not the most unfounded of fears.
  • The kids will be off to Granny and Papa’s tonight and will be staying with them on-and-off for most of the week. Big ups to them for the massive help.
  • We still need to hit the store for some last minute supplies (prune juice, liquid vitamins, nasal spray), but otherwise we should be good. I’ll be at the hospital for 2 days, so anything that we miss, Ash can grab while I nap.
  • I will be sleeping like crap for the next week to two weeks. The hope is that I’ll nap, as I probably won’t sleep for more than a couple of hours at a time at night. It’ll be like having a newborn again! Same amount of drool, same amount of sleep, only slightly less poop. That’s what the prune juice is for. And you’re welcome for me putting that thought into your heads.
  • I’ve asked Ash to take a photo every day of my recovery. I’m not sure yet if I’ll post them here. Some of them ain’t gonna be pretty.
  • A couple of you have heeded my advice and already volunteered specific days for helping out! You guys rule!
  • I’ve been trying to spend as much time with the family this weekend as possible, all while avoiding contact with ANYONE whatsoever (suddenly a germophobe?!) I think I’ve hit good middle ground.

2015 Winter 1752015 Winter 1902015 Winter 3142015 Winter 3192015 Winter 321

  • That being said, poor L is just WAY too empathetic and sweet for a 6 year old. I guess it’s not too surprising, given his natural high anxiety, but he’s definitely having some trouble with my surgery. I’ve tried to stress that everything will be okay, but with Ash and I so stressed about it ourselves, he can pick up on those kinds of things. He and D have already left for their grandparents, which is probably a good thing as we’re in last-minute preparation mode and this gives them a chance to just be kids and do kid stuff instead of worrying about their ole’ dad.
  • I have to take a shower before we leave tomorrow. At 4 am. When it’s supposed to be 9 degrees out and snowing. Joy.
  • See you on the other side.

Pictures in action

I took the boys disc golfing the other day. I got some pretty cool action shots of L driving like a pro (click to enlargenate).


It’s also demonstrating how good he is getting at near-decapitation. There’s much about these pictures I like, though I’m not a fan of him having his tongue out. All the time. Whenever he does anything athletic. You can’t see it, but it’s out here as he BANGS this excellent putt.


Not to be outdone, D takes after him in his athletic prowess in his putts:


And of course, in other feats too:


Okay, seriously, what’s up with the tongue thing? I don’t know when that started, but it’s seriously not safe. I have NO idea where they got any of that all from.


Oh, well then. That explains a lot.







Here are more pics of me flexing my newfound photography skillz! Very few pix of kids right now, but I’m sure Ash will have a post up on her blog shortly. Click each to embiggenate, and marvel at how lame my captions are.

Clouds at sunset

Moon before sunrise

River between rocks

Moon in trees

Landen throwing driver

Landen near balloons

Duncan and Mom

15 years in under 600 words

I started writing a letter to a very old friend who I had lost contact with shortly after high school. I wanted to catch her up to where I am at and how I got there, so I decided to catch her up on 15 years of my life, with the superfluous caveat that I would only allow myself 40 words per year. It was pretty tough, but somewhat rewarding. Interesting to see what sticks out in my memory (my first draft omitted that I graduated from college.) Here’s the result:

1998: spent much of year dressing poorly, being anti-social, and wishing I majored in writing – was put on wrong campus but became good friends with a few non-actors – dated a girl that went nuts – co-founded a multi-medium entertainment company Prometheus Productions

1999: finally started establishing friendship network and enjoying school a bit – wrote my first ever play that later debuted with Prometheus and won award – romantic scene barren – parents divorced after 33 years

2000: made resolution to date girl I’d liked for 2 years – got surprising amount of acting work –2nd play I wrote for Prometheus got award – spent semester in London, hated it (but Edinburgh was awesome) – on 12/28, started dating that girl

2001: dated girl entire year – graduated college and took road trips – Prometheus performed last shows – was introduced to disc golf – my acting showcase (to attract agents) interrupted by 9/11, lost interest in acting after that – got new job at office-type company

2002: worked way up company ladder, soon helmed broker department – moved out of folks’ house for first time – broke up with girl for several reasons – had first liquor at 23 years old, started to make up for lost time – started website

2003: got jealous that old girlfriend moved on, got back together with her – it didn’t last – by end of year, moved in with her (as friends) – worked fine for a few months but seeds were sown for problems

2004: social implosion as friends and exes started hooking up, dishonesty and bullshittery abounded – became pretty reclusive – moved in with longtime friend where stupidity commenced and pretended to live a college-esque existence – increased disc golf activity

2005: made NYC debut as a playwright with two shows – social life rebuilt painfully slowly – started playing disc golf professionally, made $0 – quit longtime office job over increased loathing of it, worked freelance theatre lighting by year’s end

2006: released comedy music CD – toured as disc golf pro for 5 weeks, finally cashed – moved for fourth time – met no-expectations pen pal on dating site OkCupid – freelance work dried up, got job in old industry but better company

2007: fell in love with supposed no-expectations girl after several visits – first full-length musical debuted in NYC at Fringe Festival to emphatic end-of-spectrum reviews, convinced boss at relatively new job to let me move to Nevada and keep job – headed west

2008: bought 2nd car – found out girlfriend was pregnant five days later, we got new larger apartment together – wedding plans discussed – tried to play as much disc golf as possible – finished my first novel – last year I got sleep

2009: son Landen born in January, had a “weddingish” ceremony for friends/family in May, had legal proceedings in August – after a two-month nightmare, bought our first house – spent year adapting to budgeting and selflessness with varied success

2010: Just existed happily for much of it – started small home projects – apparently played much disc golf, video games, and online poker – started reading much more frequently – company announced it could shut down close soon – panic ensued

2011: became an uncle for the first time – wife enrolled in school to get her degree – got promotion to A.V.P. at company which was now stable – welcomed second child Duncan – finished 2nd at tournament, highest finish as a pro

2012: started short story writing project with friend – entire family traveled east to visit good friends who lost their toddler – otherwise lived life contentedly as father, husband, homeowner, professional athlete, artist, and frequent sweet potato fry chef


A few quick notes about milestones. First we have Landen who VOLUNTARILY wanted to show Mom that he could go underwater. Here’s proof.

Second, we have a video of Duncan rolling over. (He also popped some teeth just today, but no pictures of those yet. In fact, I haven’t even seen them yet!)

Finally, an awesome picture I took of Duncan with my cell phone yesterday. I love it.

Our Own Personal 24?

Another OB appointment.  Ash is now 4 cm dilated and 80% effaced.  Anyone who has a knowledge of pregnancy numbers knows this is pretty close to active labor.  So the OB did some poking and prodding around, which is known to spur labor on quite quickly.  (With Landen, Ash’s water broker 2 1/2 days after it was done, but Ash wasn’t anywhere near as ready as she is now.)

Ash asked if we should schedule an appointment for next week, and the OB said no, and “I’ll see you later.”  Ash is going to take in some food, and start the walks around the neighborhood.

So now there’s something of a schedule.  The OB is on call tonight, and if we deliver anytime during normal business hours, she’d also deliver.  Meaning: if we go into labor anytime in the next 24 hours, our OB will be the one to deliver, and it seems a very real possibility at this point.

I kinda want a Keifer Sutherland-style clock to appear on the side of my life now, counting down.  Not that anything calamitous would happen if we didn’t deliver in 24 hours.  But the possibility is greater than ever.

Within a week?

Today’s OB appointment came at a crucial time.  Our OB (who we love) goes away tomorrow for 5 days.  It’s all the more crucial because, when I asked “What do you think the odds are of him making it that long?” she replied “It’s going to be close.”  She’ll be back in the office on Tuesday morning.  And she is on call that Wednesday night (a week from today).  If the baby is not yet born by Wed, the game plan is to take steps on our Wednesday appointment to get labor going, and she’s it being VERY probable the baby would be born by Wed night.

Of course, we learned from Landen’s birth that what she thinks will happen and what actually will happen are two very different things.  I reread some of my blogs from the time, and it showed that her expert opinion can also be wrong.  I had predicted a few days ago that it would be the 12th (9 days before the due date, just like Landen).  I could be very right.  😉  Really, like every other sane parent says, I want the baby and mom to be healthy.  But if he can just hold off one more week, we’re REALLY appreciate it.

In other news… um, there really isn’t other news.  We’re likely within a week of having a baby.  Eeesh.