Archive for February 23rd, 2007
What Happens in Vegas…… (Day 2 – 3 entries)

8:46am – Well, it’s just after 8 the morning, meaning I’m still adjusting my body clock. That or I’m excited for some disc golf and hookers. I did make a realization, though. We will have upwards of six people in this room this weekend. And I am not gettin’ any from any of them. Let’s see, there’s my twin brother, my gay [male] friend Corey, Alisha, who’s been in a 4-year relationship, and two friends of hers that are a couple. Sheesh. Looks like I’ve have to wait on that front to where I’ve made my riches and can split up any happy couple I wish.

6:28pm – Well, that wasn’t the worst round I’ve ever thrown, but if I were to estimate, that would be the third worst. Literally, I felt like I began my day by vomiting into a bucket, and then sprinkling it all over each hole. More appropriately, all over the first five holes. Then I saved some for later.

To put things into perspective, the leader of the tournament shot a 59, which is *technically* a -4 according to course par. I threw an 81. That is, for those who are mathematically disinclined, 22 strokes above the leader. On a scale from one to 22, I am exactly the worst possible place I can be. So what happened?

First, the Sunset Park Disc Golf Course in Las Vegas, exploits all of my weaknesses. It is very wide open. Mainly, that is the one weakness it exploits, but it does it like a mofo. Holes range from 300′ to 700′, so it’s nice for a good bigarm, of which I am… but only rarely. Not to mention there were winds between 15-25mph steady the entire round. I was playing with three new players, which was nice. And I started on the pretty simple first hole, threw two fair shots, and missed a 15′ putt (with no wind). That started me off right. I then proceeded to throw a 6, 6, and a 5 (all of which had OB strokes) and the another 5. That’s right, with 5 holes (out of 20) played, I was +10. Remember, the leader after all 20 holes was -4. This did not bode well.

I then managed to laugh enough to solidify my head and went 3, 3, 3, 2 over the next series of holes. I was thinking I was back on track. Then I proceed to throw my next two throws OB, then throw a terrible fifth shot, followed by a sixth shot that went 60′ past. At this point, I see Dome (with whom I have a $10 bet). I tell him that he has pretty much won our bet with only 10 of the 60 holes done. He says “Don’t bank on it” I then proceed to BANG the 60′ putt with a big tailwind for my double-penalty 7.

From there, I managed to tourniquet the bleeding a bit, but in all honesty, it was just a miserable miserable round with perhaps three good shots. And solid putting (after the first five holes – from there, I didn’t miss a putt)
On the bright side, I’m about to get some food, perhaps play a bit of blackjack – and then pick up Corey from the airport, to engaged in some Coreynanigans. Maybe, I’ll bring my camera to eliminate the bland grey backspace on my blog.
The way I see it, if I suck at disc golf but gamble successfully this whole week, I’ll take that.

10:45pm – I think I’ve discovered a conspiracy with Las Vegas. Everything on TV and the radio is CRAP! It literally is terrible programming. And why is that? Because they’re trying to get you into their casinos. And what’s worse is that we’re going. Because the TV is that bad.

What Happens in Vegas…… (Day 1 – 2 entries)

3:44pm – I, in a bit of twisted irony that will be immediately evident to anyone acclimated with my song The Biscuit Blues, am deeply entrenched in a layover in Atlanta. And I’ve made a few observations along the way. 1) Suburbia looks downright silly from overhead. Seriously, it looks like Legoland in its homogeny. 2) It unnerves me that airplanes are held together by Phillips-head screws. I mean, I know there’s MANY of them, but seriously, Phillips-head? Shouldn’t they at least be using hex-head or something? Perhaps toggle bolts!? 3) Three hours is just too long for a layover in a state that I’ve been to before and one that boasts the only town (Retreat) that I’ve ever actively tried to avoid (quite a pungent aroma that Retreat features, eh JayMar?) 4) No free wi-fi for people with three hours to kill? C’mon! 5) If I were an airline pilot, I’d have SO much more fun making announcements to people. 6) Hearing the FAA announce a bump in Home Security Alert System always brightens my day.

11:52pm (local time) – I am in Las Vegas, having been picked up by Mitch. But not before I heard a few interesting quotes along the way.

“The flight to Las Vegas will take approximately 4 hours and 30 moments.” – stewardess during the opening speech

“How do you spell fury? F-U-R-R-Y?” – overheard in the GA airport

“Sweet holy moses!” – I swear I heard this from someone in the airplane, which is a reference to Get Fuzzy.

Anyway, we settled in our hotel, which is surprisingly nice for the dingier part of North Vegas. The El Cortez boasts “looser slots” than anywhere in Vegas. Well, Mitch and I did about 1 hour of experimentation, and he made $130 ($50 in slots, $80 in blackjack), and I pocketed $170 (all blackjack). I could get used to Vegas if it was always like this.

I tee off tomorrow at 1:40pm. I have no internet connection – or rather, no FREE internet connection. The price I pay to keep the nameless masses informed…