This is gonna be a long one.

We have a great kid.  No doubt.  And people say parenting is hard.  And it is.  But Landen has become particularly difficult in the last week or two, even above and beyond typical baby fussiness (according to our pediatrician.)  Since birth, he has had a total of three nights where he slept soundly (aside from feedings.)  Almost every night, he hits a period (usually around 10pm – 2am) where he is super cranky and often inconsolable.  This is likely colic, which, as many people, is not fun.  Here is a picture to offset the colic-talk.

Sleeping, one of Landen’s two moods

Aside from the colic, though, he is often inconsolable in the middle of the night (and other times during the day, but not as often), and we’d noticed he’d thrown up a few times.  The doctor thinks it could be acid reflux.  As Bryan put it, “Geez, Derek, how’d you give birth to a stressed-out baby?”  But he kinda is.  The steps to prevent this are 1) sleeping on a slight decline, 2) having him upright for 1/2 hour after each feeding, and 3) medicine.  In the past few days, he’s been feeding every hour and a half.  Do the math there; we’re not sleeping much.  Which bites the wank when I have to work 8 hours at 8am.  Thankfully, Ash’s friend Erin came by last week to take some of the pressure off and do some of those 4am sit-ins.  Here are a couple of shots of her.  She rocks our proverbial socks.

She’s the one who isn’t 4 weeks old

But without an extra hand, it involves us getting up.  Which is especially hard for me.  The books I’ve read clearly state that the baby will be soothed more by the mom’s voice.  It’s true.  I have a very hard time calming him down when he’s irate.  I try 100 different positions, and none of them seem to do much good.  Sometimes, I’ll get him to calm down, but only for about 5 minutes, and then he’s off again.  And when this is happening, Ash isn’t getting any sleep either.  So we’re both highly stressed, cranky, and pretty misreable.  We try to keep the smooches in there – it’s a nice reminder.  In fact, we even took the first good photo of the family.

The soon-to-be Sonderfan Family

And it’s not like he’s never happy.  He is.  But perspective is the thing.  Ask a mother who has a 20 year old what he was like as a baby, and I doubt they’ll remember these nights too much in particular.  They’ll talk about his first steps or the fact that he hiccups like an Irishman at midnight (Landen does.)  But ask a parent who’s had a cumulative sum of 10 hours of sleep during the week, and the answer won’t be so good.  At least mine isn’t.  Ash seems to have far more patience for this.  I don’t know, I guess I’m just having trouble adjusting.  Perhaps here is why Ash is so more complacent:

I’ve been informed Sudoku makes a good sunblock

I think if work weren’t so busy this week, I wouldn’t be so itchy.  We’ve been blasted, and it’s actually going to get worse next week for me (my OTHER department’s new quarter starts up, which doubles my workload.)  I feel like Jiffy talking about his job, now.  Fortunately, the good moments are making it totally worthwhile.  Ash and I can talk about things that we disagree on without throwing things at each other.  That’s such a reassuring, welcome sign.  And I did get to spend some quality father/son playtime yesterday – I even took a video with my camera, hopefully Ash will upload that to Youtube soon.  You’ll all squeal at his adorableness.  Here was a pic from that playtime.

His first smile-ish?

Eh, enough of my emo post.  Landen is doing just fine, despite some little snafus along the way.  But what child in the history of time didn’t have these little issues?  Now, here’s some people specific pictures.  Cromwell, this goes to show that my son doesn’t have any bones either.

And Jaymar, you’ve gone on record a couple of times as calling my son “handsome” and even a future model.  Well, if this doesn’t land him on a cover of GQ, nothing will.

Swoon, ladies, swoon!

Anyhow, this also said there will be a CONTEST!  That’s right, it’s CONTEST TIME!  I have a small prize in mind for this one, so it should be fun.  And it’s a CAPTION contest!  Give the following picture your best caption and you will be nominated.  If you don’t want to post it publicly, you can submit your caption by clicking here.  Anyway, here’s the picture, enjoy!

As 2008 comes to a close, and we still haven’t popped out a baby (much to Ash’s chagrin), we can at least happily announce the baby’s name…. that won the contest!  This will NOT be the name of the baby, but it did win a contest, as well as a copy of Mark Dunn’s classic novel, Ella Minnow Pea.  The winner is the exceedingly clever:

Wade Ashley Sonderfan –> submitted by Veronica

Runners up included:

Thor Flamethrower McButterpants –> Jaymar

Recessed Lighting Sonderfan –> Stu

Boss and Shark –> Kelly

Fats Lite –> Cromwell

Xander Swordsman –> Mitch

Admiral –> Jaymar

Mitchell Marsh(all) Sonderfan –> Smolin

But that’s not where it stops.  Taking some of the other suggestions of names, we end up with some pretty interesting combinations.  I won’t credit everyone, but here are some combinations we were able to make with some of your suggestions.  I’ll also include what type of baby might warrant such a name:

The Item Baby: Van Lamp Toaster Sonderfan

The Baby of Unknown Origin: Mahmoud Ashrek Sonderfan

The Harvard Baby: Blaine Cooper-Shay Sonderfan

The Angry Baby: Rage King Sonderfan

The Other People Are Already Named This Baby: Neil Patrick Harris, Hacksaw Jim, Nathan Detroit, Alex P Keaton, Kobe, Axel Rose

The WTF Baby: Assman Tots Sonderfan

The WTF Baby II: Teaful Algoth Sonderfan

The WTF Baby III: Sach Playa Sonderfan

The WTF Baby IV: Gizmo Beeftink-Flem Sonderfan

The Overly Effeminate Baby: Ella-May Kaia Lila Sonderfan

The We-Still-Haven’t-Ruled-This-Out Baby: Otto Jr. Sonderfan

Congratulations to Veronica, and thank you all for playing.  I’ll let you know when the next contest is up!

So this is your last chance to try to win a NIFTY PRIZE in our baby-naming contest.  All you have to do is submit a name for our as-of-now-unnamed baby.  NOTE: This does NOT mean the contest is based on who is “closest” to the chosen name.  Hogwash.  We ourselves don’t know what the judging criteria will be.  We’re just going to pick a name we like.  So use just first names, or first and middle.  Heck, make up a last name if you want and use three names (or more!)  Boys or girls’ names.  Silly, serious, meaningful, historical, stupid… whatever your little hearts desire.  I have all the entries logged down and we’re going to pick at the end of December based on whatever we happen to be feeling the day we pick one.

Note, as per Ashley’s blog, it will not be at all surprising is Smacky comes out early based on our OB’s predictions.  If he is born in 2008, the contest will end when he is born and we reveal the actual name.

But get your guesses in NOW!  Even if you have submitted ten names, submit more!  Here is the link to vote: Click here to submit your guess.  Good luck!

Ash’s latest suggestion, after another long bout of not settling on a boy’s name.  So we turn back to you:

Any more suggestions for the baby-naming contest?  Doesn’t have to be boy-centric, but that might now help.  I still have all the old suggestions and will pick a winner before the baby is born, and you will receive an awesome gift.

So a few days ago, we went to the Xray Technician (not our normal OB) for the special 5-month ultrasound.  That’s right, we’ve already passed the halfway point.  And of course, we got some delightfully vague pictures as a result.  And I present them.  First, is Smacky’s upper body.  This picture really calmed my fears: many new parents will immediately count toes and fingers in a picture.  I don’t know why.  Are they going to abort a baby with 9 fingers?  I was much more concerned with a torso.  Our baby has a torso.  Observe:

I can see he has mommy’s… ummm, arms?  Browline?  Okay, I couldn’t tell much here.  Thank heavens our technician went further.

Ladies and gentleman, my son’s scrotum

During the whole procedure, Smacky was quite active, squirming, tumbling, and even giving Ash a good swift punch to the lung.  I got to see it.  He’s quite the boxer.  We also found out that he is a little large already – the technician assumed we mixed up the date of conception, but the date he assumed would have been impossible (I was in another time zone at the time – and seriously, no ‘is he yours’ jokes – they’re never funny), so we’re just having a large baby.  Maybe that means an early birth and a sweet tax break.

And before everyone asks, yes we have a few names we like, and no I won’t tell you what they are.  However, you can still get your entries in for baby names in our BABY NAMING CONTEST.  Feel free to pick a first and middle name (hell, even a last one if you want).  Be funny, be creative, be cute, be apropos… it doesn’t necessarily need to be male.  There’s a sweet prize for the winner.  And remember, Ash and I will be judging this contest.

Anyway, Smacky’s doing just fine.  And he’s a boy.

So, yeah, about halfway through the honeymoonish, I became acutely aware that I was being chained by my connectivity. I was thinking about when I could blog, keeping my phone on to text people who had texted me first… I thought BAH! I don’t feel like any of this. It started out accidentally – we just never got around to having internet connection on Wednesday, and that freedom was refreshing. So I turned my phone off, didn’t check my mail or anything else electronically the rest of the week (much to my fantasy baseball team’s chagrin). It was wonderful.

We are pooped, so pics will have to wait. We’ll hopefully get them up in the next day or two. But here’s a summary or what went down:

Tuesday: After playing a rather enjoyable course in Portland with Alisha and Ashley (whose nicknames of Leash and Shley were very difficult to keep straight), we got a mini-tour of the area from Alisha.  Then we met two friends from OkCupid (the dating site we met on) and had dinner together.  It was very enjoyable, and it got Alisha and I practicing our sign, as the male husband was deaf.  Back home and to sleep after hanging some curtains, which leads us into…

Wednesday: We left Alisha’s early to head up towards Seattle. Unfortunately, there would not be enough time in the day to hit Tilamook (which Ash was hoping for) or Humptulips WA (sorry Jaymar). We got to Brian and Julie’s beautiful new place in early evening, and chilled. It was nice to not drive for a while. They took us on a tour of Seattle, and we had some delicious cheeseburgers. Then it was back home where we played Boom Blox on the Wii (which has made Ashley ravenously hungry for a Wii of her own). It was a late bedtime after that because of…

Thursday: We got out early and grabbed breakfast with Brian and Julie, and said a much-too-soon goodbye to them. Off to Leavenworth. We got there after some more scenic routes and the temperature was steadily climbing up near the 100s. We walked around the very delightful Bavarian-styled town and hit almost all of the shops. In all, aside from food, we only made three purchases in Leavenworth, a testament to our self-control: a new bucket hat for me, some chocolate for Ash, and a silly old-timey photo of us. Oh, and the down payment on our rings, which are AWESOME! You should all hit Ostling and Brooks when you are in Leavenworth. We stayed at the quaint and very-wonderful Autumn Pond B&B that night, waking up on…

Friday: After a dangerously good breakfast at the hands of owner John, we got on the road for the most boring part of the trip: SW Wash, Oregon, and Idaho. This is the part of the country where turns in the road create genuine feelings of anticipation. With little of interest to see, we made a beeline for Scott. After a long day of driving, we had a quiet evening of cribbage and Grand Theft Auto, which is surprisingly fun. What’s next?

Saturday: of course. We set out early before the temperature got downright silly to hit the Ann Morrison Park Disc Golf Course. This was a splendid course that’d I’d put up among my top 10 most beautiful courses (or at least my top 3 most beautiful courses with no elevation change in them). It wasn’t the most challenging (which you wouldn’t know with my 17 pars, 2 circle 4s, and 1 birdie), but it used the land perfectly. Then off to one of the best lunches I’ve ever had at Papa Joe’s. Mmmmmmm…… Then in the biggest surprise of the week, we got to go to the air force base, check out the tower, and even use the simulators. I learned that there is a phrase you can tell a pilot, and they then eject themselves and blow up the plane – needless to say, I blew up a number of planes, including one that was just taxi-ing on the runway. Then back home for more cribbage, GTA, and shenanigans that lasted until 4am (for Scott and me at any rate). Which is technically…

Sunday: Boy, we only were in the car maybe 7 hours today, but this was easily the most tedious and bland (despite one cool road name). It could also be the 5 hours of sleep I got. Oh well. But we are now home – actually, I”m home and Ash is with her folks for the night. Tomorrow we find out the gender of Smacky.

All in all, it was exactly what we wanted and needed – a week away from the worries and stress (Ash is more than happy to point out I have developed a few gray hairs), and just seeing some beautiful sights. And being together. If the honeymoonish was any indication, I like our chances…

We are giving away 2 pairs of tickets to The Unusual Suspects, thanks to the most excellent JayMar.  Find out how at www.unusualsuspectsthemusical.com.

Or, you can play it safe and order early!  Tickets are going fast!

Thanks guys.

Congratulations to the newest winner of an esoderek.com/blog contest (which DEFINITELY needs renaming)! Stephanie has won herself an esoderek.com bumper sticker for her caption for this photo:

“The most important thing to remember during a wicker attack is to remain calm”

In addition, I am giving out another bumper sticker to JayMar, who never received a prize for his winning entry into my first contest. He came up with a slogan for this fine company:

“When you need man tools, Go Gayer!”

Expect your prizes soon! (JayMar, I need an address for you)

Also, stay tuned for more fantastic esoderek.com contests!

So a week ago, I put a new contest up for captioning a photo – due to an underwhelming response (I assume because I picked a bad picture) I’m abandoning that picture and putting up a brand new one. Same contest, different picture: caption this sucker. There’s an esoderek.com bumper sticker in it for the winner. Enter as often as you’d like (and you can even write it as a “comment” if you want everyone to see your submission, or you can click here to submit it in private for consideration.

Good luck!

A little while ago, I held a contest on my blog. It was to come up with an advertising slogan for this company:

I did receive a number of entries, and I do with pride announce the winner, Mr. Jay Marshall, who won with the following slogan:
“When you need man tools, go Gayer!”

Notable mentions go to:
“Because all good manquipment should be Gayer”
“Serving all of Man-Town for over 30 years.”

Thank you for competing in this contest. As a prize, Jay Marshall wins his choice of posting a blog for me or receiving a slide tackle from me when he leasts expects it. I imagine it will be a tough choice. Stay tuned for more pointless contests.