I’m sorry to hear about your dog’s untimely passing, but let’s make some lemonade out of those lemons. Take your ex-poodle and put him in a very weathered coffin with W. Shakespaw engraved on the side. Velcro old parchment that says “I wrote all Shakespeare’s plays” on underside of coffin lid. Bury the coffin somewhere in Stratford-upon-Avon. Hope to god someone eventually digs it up or you just wasted a ton of time, money, and poodle.